not giving up hope.

I am a RN and a Public Health Nurse at that. Much has changed in the last few months. I survived the NCLEX - board exam and found a job (unlike many, many other classmates in this economy).

I am a RN & Public Health Nurse & a School District Nurse. I feel the need to write it twice because sometimes it's even hard for me to believe.

My district is very interesting and I am the only nurse for dozens of schools. The area is poor, inner-city, with regular gangs & violence. 98% of our students are on free breakfast & free lunch programs. For the majority, English is their second or third language and many are from immigrant families. And, we have some of the lowest test scores in the state.

At first, I found it hard to believe that this community was so different from other areas I've been or taught. But, the more time I've spent there the more layers and layers of sad stories I see. Things that wouldn't be tolerated elsewhere.

Everyone has a story.

I drove home in tears today. Many days I feel so torn. I want to blame someone. Some days I want to blame the parents who leave their 3rd grade kid for 3 hours by himself waiting outside of school to be picked up with no supervision in an area with a high crime rate. But, it's not always easy - they are working a minimum wage job and struggled to find work and if they don't work they end up on the street and if they leave early to pick up their kid they lose their job and the after-school program is completely full because other families are in this situation; only they were more fortunate because they signed up first. Of course, there "should be" other solutions - leave their kid with a family friend, family member, or ASK FOR HELP... but many are scared to be deported if they ask for help or they aren't educated & think this is okay because this is the way life was for them growing up.

I know of families of 10 living in a tiny garage. Others on the streets. Disconnected phone numbers or phone numbers that change on a weekly basis. MANY kids who don't eat dinner whose only food is the shit - the absolute shit - that the school cafeteria feeds them for breakfast and lunch. Others with students with medical conditions that can't afford large diapers (but they get babies diapers for free) so their child ends up with drenched pants by the end of the day because their diaper doesn't fit. Parents who can't afford to take their kid to the doctor - yes there are free resources in the community - but they don't have the money for the bus or they can't take time off work or, or, or. Sometimes these excuses seem lame to me but then I realize that many are struggling just to survive. To keep their family of 8, or 10, or 12 people together.

But it makes me livid. Education is the answer out of this (to me). And some days I wonder why some of these parents don't see it. Pulling your kid out of class for 3 weeks because they have a rash and they can't come back until they have a doctor's note isn't going to help. There is no such thing as "room parents" here. Schools have tried but parents just don't want to/can't (for whatever reason) be involved.

Sadly, many teachers have checked out too. They're done. They're exhausted. Some teach their lessons both in English and Spanish. Another thing I am torn about. I can't imagine being in a class not knowing a word of what is being said but at the same time is it a disservice to the kids? Will it be harder to learn English when there is less of an incentive to learn?

Then there's the middle school girls that are pregnant. Not just one or two. And, the kids that came to school with crack, cocaine, and a gun.

So many layers. so many factors. so many sad stories. my head is always spinning; i needed to purge it and record some of its randomness in this writing.

Into the minds of many.

Alright, I admit I feel guilty for letting months pass without posting. Not guilty to anyone who would possibly read this but guilty to myself for not having anything to look back on about my current experiences.

Right now I'm in my community health and mental health rotations. For community, I'm at an inner-city type junior high school teaching health classes. It's definitely a challenge!

As for my mental health rotation, it's not what I expected to be AT ALL. For one, I thought patients would be at the facility, as a type of "mini get away". I figured it would be a place to be when life seemed overwhelming and you're feeling depressed and possibly suicidal. Uh -- NOPE, NADA. It is way more like the movies than I ever thought possible. My first patient was there for a variety of reasons, one being that he heard voices telling him to castrate himself (and yes he tried and no this is not the first patient I have seen this year with this situation). There are patients who truly believe they are the queen, married to the president, being poisoned in their water, their family members are cannibals (and as a result get violent defending themselves against their beliefs), pregnant with 10 babies, and that the government zapped their memory. There are also patients when you ask them why they are there who turn and say with a confused look "I have absolutely no idea". Screaming, yelling, pacing, pacing, pacing, standing in a corner all day, talking to themselves, mute, screaming. Not everyone is at such a low functioning level but it amazes me how many are. I can't even imagine if this is them on their medication what it might be like without the drugs.

Being with some of the patients at the mental health facility brings be back to when I taught Kindergarten. I remember one day early in the year, I was teaching about the letter "T". We had a "T' scavenger hunt, art project, tea party, "T" songs, photography station where kids took pictures of objects starting with the letter "T", we made "T"'s with our body in Phys Ed (alright I admit it was a bit ridiculous!!!!). But at the end of the day, I asked one of the students what letter we learned today -- guess what she said --- "K" !!!!!!!!!!! Many of my conversations with patients at the Mental Health facility feel very similar. It's like one minute I exist to them and the next minute, everything changes.

It saddens me when I read the charts and read about trauma's preceding their diagnosis. It could be anyone; it really could happen to anyone. Many don't have family support - lots have been physically abusive to family members and others have been very deceptive... this is their disorder. Family members have given up. I'd like to think if I had a son/daughter with a mental illness that I would be fully supportive & compassionate but honestly, if they're abusive towards me or other people in the household, I don't know that I could be. That saddens me.

It's hard. The majority of the world looks at mental illness as a dirty thing. Whereas, having cancer is something heroic. I would much rather die from cancer than have untreatable/poorly treated undifferentiated type schizophrenia. It's weird writing that but it's true.

Definitely, most people live normal lives with the help of medication but not everyone...

maternity unit adventures

My maternity rotation finished this weekend. The next adventure will be pediatrics beginning in January.

It was a very different world being with healthy patients; for many, this was their first hospital experience. After seeing many labors (and sometimes birth!) my perceptions of hospitals being places for birth has changed. The whole process has become one of total unnaturalness. Drugs for contractions, drugs for dilation, drugs for pain, unnecessary panic, and then there's the actual pushing. This involves mom lying on her back (in a side tilt) without any help from gravity just so the doctors can get a better look. In most cases, mom surrenders all her control to the staff so they can run the show by their own agenda. However, that's not to say hospitals are horrible places for birth; for complications (and often unexpected ones) they can be LIFE SAVERS. But, it seems like they have lost total balance. Everything has become somewhat of an emergency with a need for unnecessary interventions.

Maternity was also somewhat of an eye opener. I had heard of all the stories but to actually see it and experience it was a whole new world... major, major lacerations to the vagina, episiotomies, pooping during birth, baby coming out covered in their own poop (meconium), major hemorrhoids, hemorrhage, uteruses falling out of the vagina, & bloody show --- most of which are VERY common and expected. I'm so grateful to my patients for allowing me to experience all of this with them.

I can't even begin to describe the moments when the babes finally popped out. The very first time I caught myself saying "aww" outloud. Every time I saw a delivery, that moment was a.m.a.z.i.n.g and very surreal.

There was definitely some heartache too. We had a patient who lost her baby and was schedule to come in and deliver. She was assigned to be my patient (my instructor paid me the biggest compliment when she said she couldn't imagine assigning anyone different; she felt my calmness and compassion would be a benefit to the mother). Unfortuantely, the nursing manager didn't feel right about a student being part of that situation (even though the patient was very open to a student) so I didn't actually get to be in the room with her. There was also a baby that died in the NICU that same day so there was a lot of heartache on the floor.

I wanted to save this link (and pass it on to anyone interested in understanding the process of delivering a fetal demise): http://allnurses.com/nursing-articles/caring-family-suffering-284177.html

fill your frontal lobe with knowledge

new health blog @ http://randomhealthfacts.blogspot.com/

the plan is to keep posting -- as long as school doesn't get TOO crazy.

feel free to send questions/topics/requests/etc.

:)

gesundheit: to your health!

intensive care unit adventures

I'm in the last week of my ICU rotation for my clinicals. It's been a bit of a crazy adventure. I've lost a lot of patients (4 now in 5 weeks) when most classmates haven't lost one. ICU is a crazy messed up world where I hope no one ever needs to go... but if you are unfortunate enough to end up there, I hope you have THE BEST nurses and doctors. Most of the nurses and doctors I've worked with have been phenomenal but there's definitely a few that scared the crap out of me. Working with patients in ICU is like trying to solve a crazy puzzle -- you have to work out patients current diagnosis(es), symptoms, lab values, drugs, history, family history and balance it all out. EVERYTHING AFFECTS EVERYTHING and it's crazy trying to keep up! I loved the challenge and I am a bit sad to be finishing this rotation. AND somehow I got the highest, bestest, almost perfectist mark in my class on my ICU final exam!

I saw a lot of very sad things too... patients that have been hooked up to machines for months because their families weren't ready to let them go (despite the patient having end-of-life wishes in writing not to keep them hooked up to machines). A patient whose heart was in such failure his legs looked as wide as an elephant's legs, patients with 30 drips going, patients struggling to breathe, patients with tubes in every hole of their body, patients with wounds deep enough to clearly see their bones, patients whose edema/swelling was so severe that it was weeping out of all parts of their skin and a patient whose biggest accomplishment was when he could squeeze my fingers. It's hard to watch so much suffering... and despite feeling like I was on "death watch" since so many of my patients passed, I'm relieved to know that they won't be suffering any longer.

One more weekend of this adventure and then on to the next. Maternity.

oh, i didn't forget my blog password.

I guess this will be my annual blog post. Yes, it's been awhile.

In May I (finally!!) started my intensive, insane, accelerated Nursing program. It's definitely had its ups & downs but fortunately mostly ups. I'm impressed with how much I've learned & it feels like I know a new language (pseudofolliculitits, hypocapnia, lipectomy, melena, dyspareunia x1000). Last week we started in the hospitals and I've gotten to do many assessments, needles, blood glucose testing, meds, and even a catheter :) Today I went to the ER for a code 3/blue and got to help "bag" a person --- basically pumping air into his lungs. I also helped suction into his lungs. It was very, very intense -- super fast paced, at least a dozen people in the room, pandemonium - I don't think I could do adult ER. Fortunately, he pulled through. After he stabilized I got to see an NG tube & a few other more crazy procedures. I hope no one I know ever has to go through that. Fortunately, it doesn't happen very often at my hospital that someone codes blue -- we were told 2x/week.ish, although today we had 3.

Sadly, aside from school my life has been pretty non-existent. School eats up way too much of my time. I don't think I could handle more than a year of this craziness.

However, Paul & I did go to a house concert last weekend in SF which was amazing. One of my favourite artists played -- Terra Naomi. I couldn't get over how she played for ~20 of us when she's played huge gigs all over the world. It was incredible.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARHyRI9_NB4

I've probably said too much & too little.

uh, yeah that was dumb.

I'm going to be upfront - this post is likely going to be controversial. Especially coming from a "teacher" and someone who's heart is in wanting to educate people about important stuff. And well, I also like to think of myself as an understanding and compassionate person. [[aside: I wanted to take out my instructor today for laughing about a student who came to her and confided that he wanted to commit suicide after breaking up with his girlfriend of 6 weeks --- she had the entire class laughing and WTF.ing AAAAND then she went on to say she saw a picture of his ex-girlfriend and that she was U-G-L-Y; definitely nothing to kill yourself over----- WHERE'S THE COMPASSION?!!!???]]

ANYWAY...... the point of this post is to make clear that stupid questions do exist. It's been 3 days since the start of my (waiting to get into an academic Nursing program) classes. Here is just a sampling of the questions I have heard at my community college:
o What happens if a person is in an accident and they lose their sex organs -- are they male or female?
o What do you say to someone that is using you?
o I've heard of gonorrhea, what is it?
o What does adverse mean?

I'm keeping a list at the back of my book in order to keep me distracted from laughing. But honestly, I'm sad and appalled. I'm not saying that I'm better than these people but I worry greatly about our future as a country & a planet.

you could be a part-time model.

It's a little bit funny how now that I'm getting into the thicker, dirtier, scarier Nursing courses that I'm starting to see myself in some of the pages of my textbooks. My Pathophysiology text has become notorious for this... ouch, my back hurts maybe I'm developing _________. My joints hurt today I wonder if this means I have ________. That tingly feeling in my toes, the imperfections of my skin, my chronic fatigue at times must all mean lead to a diagnosis of ___________.

And no, I do not have hypochondriasis.

I have a minor in Psychology & for a long while I use to want to be a counselor before deciding upon teaching. I use to come home after Abnormal or Clinical Psych and diagnosis my dog and brother with all sorts of random disorders. My dog definitely had conduct disorder (poor thing) and well my brother fit into many disorders on many different days. But really we all do. Every abnormal or clinical psych course I ever took was always prefaced by the professor on how to not panic when you see yourself in parts of each disorder.

I have become fascinated by how detailed every function of the human body is and how everything is incredibly interconnected. Many days I find myself cursing that we know so much and that I have to memorize such insane details; that if I was doing this 50 years ago or even 20 years ago when we didn't know as much, that studying would be so much easier. However, at the same time, there's a tremendous amount of knowledge that we don't know. But, in full disclosure, I am glad we know more information then we did 20 years ago (except for studying purposes)... I doubt I'd be here today if it weren't for all the knowledge that's been come by in the past few decades... I've had many close calls especially with my allergies and even now I'm anxious to get back to the doctor at the end of this month to find out if things are healing inside me since some of my tissue has decided to do some pretty crazy things and scare me & my doctor. But it's alright.. I'm alright. At least I have pages of textbooks to arm me with knowledge and an appreciation for my body that can handle it.

My real classes start in less than a week. I always have a love/hate relationship with this time of year. It should be interesting!

blah feelings.

It’s been eons since I last wrote and as always when I neglect my blog for months & months, a lot has happened. I’ve traveled to Europe & Canada twice, my family has been down for a visit, I finished another set of classes, and I have come across some major hiccups with my school program. To make a long story short, due to someone else’s error, I have another 2 years left of classes. One year of waiting for the program & another year in the program. Now I have to take the program in Oakland and travel even further from home. I cried and cried and cried and cried when I found out the news; yes, it’s not the end of the world but it’s yet another year of no money, another year of waiting, another year of what the hell am I doing?! A lot of days, I’m excited about this new direction in life but some days, I’m scared beyond belief. Five years ago, I never imagined I’d be where I am today… From the start of my education degree, I said I couldn't see myself in a traditional classroom as a traditional instructor that I wanted to specialize after... but sometimes this new direction feels so different. I just hope I’m doing the right thing. sigh.

I enjoyed my time in Calgary immensely. I adore one of my close friends that still lives there and I miss her like crazy; it felt so amazing to finally catch up and hang out again. The past few times I’d been to Calgary, it had been during the winter/spring… I must admit it was a bit harder to leave after visiting in the summer. Amazing friends & family, beautiful mountain views, delicious food, Banff trips, etc. are harder to leave when they’re experienced in plus 30 degree weather than during minus 20 degree-catch hypothermia-plug your car in-weather!

I just need to keep hanging on. Everything will find a way to work itself out – eventually.

A lab rat named desire.

Being a poor, starving student has let me resort to somewhat sketchy (legal) ways of making a few extra dollars. Since working in the US on a student vi.sa is rather complicated, I have learned how to make a few(!!) real dollars by answering sketchy ads on Craigslist to participate in research studies. Now, now, they're haven't been THAT sketchy -- they've all claimed to be associated with Google, Yahoo, or Stanford University. Although, I did participate in a breast cancer study that was incredibly sketchy; I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't really with Stanford. Ha.

Today was one of those "study days" for me. Ongoing, I've been participating in a study on emotion regulation in women with Stanford. First, I went in for a fMRI -- a VERY cool experience! I actually got to see real live images of MY brain! (yes it exists!). However, I was shocked with an electric current while in the fMRI which was NOT fun and I also had to look at some rather gruesome images of people dying or maimed. All in the name of Science folks. Yup, Science is great. They also made me spit in a cup which will apparently map out my genes and predispositions.

Oh yeah, I was talking about TODAY though... so today, I go to the Stanford hospital to get some blood drawn for the study; that's all I know going in. But, when I get there I see I'm going to be staying in a real ward of the hospital, in a real room, and that this is real business. So they take some blood in many tubes with pretty tops (of course, I got home and immediately "internet searched" to see what they tested for). Then, I watched 30 mins of Planet Earth to relax and they drew my blood again. BUT THEN..... I was told I would have to give a 5 minute presentation on why I should get a specific job to a panel of people and that it would be videotaped. I was instructed that I could only talk about myself and not my past resume. No ums, no pauses. Yippie (gag). So then 2 VERY INTIMIDATING people walk in and I have to give this presentation in front of the 3 of them. IT SUCKED. I talked for maybe 2 minutes.. and then it was very awkward after that but I somehow managed to survive for 5 minutes. Secondly, I had to do a mental math test which sucked EQUALLY to the speech. Ever tried counting down by 15's from 9876 in front of 3 people?? Everytime I got one wrong, I had to start again. Plus, they firmly told me faster, faster, you're too slow, etc. They never smiled; the people that they hired to do this were AMAZING.. they deserved an Academy Award for their acting. But, it sucked - it was embarrassing, nerve racking, stressful, and a big blow (exactly what they wanted it to be). So then, they took my blood again (to test my stress levels - cortisol lvls) and asked me some questions about the experience and how I regulated my emotions. Neat stuff. Today was about immunology and stress. The study has been very cool & it's been a lot of fun being part of it despite of some of the nerve-racking activities.

mmmmm... tasty Canada

I swear, my circumvallate papillae and brain like to play mean tricks on me. Today I was all excited for the leap-year party that friends are hosting thinking what can I make, what can I make. After what felt like HOURS sifting through recipes, being mighty picky I finally decided to make PUFFED WHEAT SQUARES. So I go to Safeway, no puffed wheat. I go to Trader Joes, no puffed wheat -- only sugary, give-you-a-cavity-or-ten puffed wheat, nothing I can bake with. WTF?! So I go home, do some googling (don't tell Paul) and learn that my beloved Puffed Wheat Squares are a Western Canadian treat. I'm sooooooo tired of craving "Canadian" things! Half the battle is learning that what I want-ooooh-soooooooo-badly is something that doesn't exist south of the 49th parallel.

Just the other week I wanted Cheezies (and not the gross ones here); the REAL ones made by Hawkins with the packaging that looks like wallpaper from the 40's. Only to learn that --- "THEY ARE CANADIAN". And don't even get me started about wine gums, canadian chocolate bars, ketchup potato chips, shreddies, butter tarts, tim hortons, canadian wine (OOOOOH there's one I want so badly from the Okanagon!) -- alright now I sound pathetic AND like an alcoholic.

timmy and the lords of the underworld

The other night, I had a dream that a Tim Horton's opened here. Screaming in excitement, I ran through the streets announcing the news and even kissed a female employee. Sadly, I woke up shortly after.

<3 day

My Valentine's Day was great. I met Paul for dinner at his work and brought cheap pizza and delicious mini-cakes. We ate a 'romantic' dinner in the cafeteria and then rocked out to RockBand for 4 hours :) I'm sure to anyone but us, that sounds awful but I'll admit, it was pretty awesome. Probably the best VDay ever -- which coming from someone who only looks forward to the holiday at a 6 out of 10 (at least that's what I told the guy at the Farmer's Market) is pretty darn good. I even got a super nice baking sheet (and he got some shoes).

Random Fact: If I could bring 3 things with me on a deserted island, one of them would definitely be Midol. Yes, I've been thinking about this all day. Damn, I don't know how women lived without it -- I can barely live, even with it, several days each month. Bah! I should have NEVER taken for granted all the years I had no pain.. I used to think women who complained were crazy. Until this past year, I had no freaking idea!!!!!
< /rant & /too much info random fact (sorry) >

Random Pictures (but not as random as last time!!!) from Valentine's Day at Paul's work.

serving size 120g

I seem to only write when I'm reminded to. Oops.
I guess I'm not much of a blogger when I write once a month. Sadly, life has not been that exciting. Unless of course, learning about Na+/K+ pumps is fascinating to you (i secretly find it interesting) and writing midterms on scantron sheets makes your day (they smell good). Other than school and freaking about school (especially if I'll get all my prerequisites done in time for my application!! Damn you MATH!!!!), the days have unfortunately been blending together. I miss the Stanford connection; I am so sucky at meeting new people. I wish my Calgary friends lived here too. /melodrama

However, I have recently discovered RockBand!! Only the best video game EVER! Yet, when I get excited and tell Paul, "look I'm playing video games with you!", apparently it doesn't count. It's short a few druids or dps or caverns of time or something. I still think it counts and I still think it rockband (-band; +s). Friday night we went to Paul's work and played it until 4am (we did the big 58 song set on hard!!).

Random Fact about Michelle (and I think every post from now on will contain one of these): She's been journaling/writing/blogging since she was in grade 2 (aka 2nd grade). One of her earliest pieces contains the sentence, "I learned my teacher was nice today because she let me have two drinks of water". Wow, cognitive development must have been in its early stages. She thinks it's funny to go back and read how stupid her worries, fears, and dreams were and often considers throwing them in the trash. However, she hasn't yet -- in the hopes that they will one day give her insight into her own future kids weird and wonderful lives and cognitive stages. Or something.
Random Fact #2: Apparently, she likes writing in 3rd person.

And because pictures always make things better, here are some VERY random ones (1 & 2 me and my brother, 3 lymphatic system model, 4 & 5 craft project)

Take our love into paradise.

I'm writing from the winter-wonderland that is Canada and it's been a crazy past 2 weeks. I'm a little sad to be leaving Saturday, especially after all the events from the past couple of weeks. I got into town on December 15th and my Grandpa passed away, somewhat UNexpectantly on December 20th. Ever since it's been so crazy.. It's been amazing to see the family but I feel like I'm in such a strange place. It's hard to find the motivation to see my friends from Calgary when I know there is so much going on with the family. It's been hard. I feel like I've been in a horrible friend but I'm physically so exhausted from all of this. I just hope they understand. It shouldn't be as hard as it is but it is. I'm so lucky to have spent some time with my Grandpa a few days before he died. And he went so peacefully in his sleep... exactly how he would have wanted to go. The funeral was beautiful with at least 300 people attending and 15 priests. Both he and my Grandma touched a lot of lives. I'm really going to miss him. I was also fortunate to be the only one in the family (next to my Grandma when they first got married) to hear "his story" -- especially about the war. He never talked about it to any of his 9 kids or 30 some grandkids but last summer he sat me down and asked me to listen and write a book about his life. I just hope I do his story justice.

From insects to jumbo jets.

I wouldn't consider myself as "one of those" people who always complain about exams and then end up with an A. But I am a little miffed, with my anatomy professor. Our lab final was ridiculously easy and she mortified me before the final by having us convinced that it would be a very, very painful experience. I memorized almost 100 muscles, their insertion, origin, and function in addition to knowing all the bumps and holes on all bones of the appendicular skeleton and what did she ask us?! Maybe 3 muscles (and your choice of describing the insertion, origin, or function) and identification of bones -- I better know what a humerous is by now! Alright, I'll end the rant and stop complaining that I'm a million time more knowledgeable about the bones and muscles than I need to be.

Paul's company party was this past Saturday and I quadrupled my "money" playing poker. They ran a fake casino and I played a few amazing games. It was a crazy, fun party with great food and thousands of people.

2 more finals and 5 more sleeps until Canada. Not much else to report here!

they say it's possible to me.

Wow, it's been awhile since I last wrote. I guess between Facebook & uploading pictures to Flickr, I figured anyone who wanted to could piece together the recent events of my life (with a little less bitching and moaning). But I got a very sweet compliment about my blog from a few friends this weekend which ulimately inspired the update.

(insert very random fact) Lately when I write - emails, even essays for school! - I've been starting many of my sentences with 'But' and 'And'. Growing up, I was taught that this was a cardinal sin. I'm not sure what inspired my recent naughtiness but so far, no one has complained. My English teacher (yes ANOTHER course in English - since apparently Canada's English is too far fetched) seems too "new school" to mind.

Right now, things are going well (what is there really to say to fill a YEARS worth of time since I last wrote). I am COMPLETELY swamped in bones and muscles for anatomy/physiology. I have a lab final on Thursday and I'm coming to accept that there's no humanly possible way for me to cram everything I need to know in my frontal lobe before then. It's actually quite sad that I don't get more time to really learn this material - it is interesting! But (see I did it again), a week isn't nearly enough time to learn the appendicular skeleton and the entire muscular system. (insert singing) The ichial tuberocity is connected to the ------- bone. The Pronator teres is connected to the ------- muscle and ------ -------- bones. Oh well, hopefully the exam won't be as nasty as I'm imagining it to be.

I finally received my student (f1) visa! I'm excited that the paperwork came through and I don't have to worry about having to deal with immigration papers for hopefully a long while. Although, I told Paul that if a certain politician becomes president in the next election I refuse to stay in the US... so we'll have to see.

2 more weeks and I'll be back in Calgary. Not so sure I'm as thrilled about going back since I heard it was -25 Celsius (-13 Fahrenheit). My bones seriously hurt thinking about it!

I better get back to the books. Thanks blog for the few minutes of procrastinating.

Watch Wine Library TV

Changing the wine world.

01.31.2007

Work is most definitely driving me crazy.

It's a hard reality watching how 'unfair' this world can be.

I forgot I made a blog

In an effort to not start out every blog entry (and email) the same way, I'll refrain from apologizing for not writing sooner.

Sadly, in the world away from work there isn't much excitement to report. I've been busy learning poker and mafia. I think I've fallen in love with mafia. Being around a zillion super smart 4.0 logic geniuses, usually puts me at a disadvantage but I'm becoming a pretty good liar! (Which is probably not a good thing). I've read a few good books the past month and am really, really, really trying to motivate myself to religiously go to yoga classes... there are way too many good excuses though... but alas, I haven't given up yet.

I have REALLY been craving "Canada" lately... There are so many things that I am discovering that I miss (aside from the given - family and friends and Banff and Health Care!) In an effort to keep driving myself crazy over this, I'm posting my list:
- wine gums!
- chocolate bars (mint aero, caramilk, big turk, skor)
- nibbs & goodies
- good licorice
- "real" ice tea
- time & a half pay on a stat holiday (or just a day off without guilt!!)
- Tim Hortons
- good beef (and real beef jerky)
- Lululemon (don't ask me why but one of their cute hoodies would be soooo nice right now!)
Yes, I've definitely had a sweet tooth lately (although I haven't really given in). I know there are other Canadian goodies that aren't found here but the above is what I've REALLY been missing!

"Holiday" Party Pics

Nothing really new to report here.. still enough drama at work to keep me busy. I thought I'd post a few pictures pre-work-holiday party (not to be confused with a "Christmas party" - as I watched a lot of people at work get schooled for calling it that). I really, really, really do like the mix of cultures and faiths in the area but geeze enough with the generalities. Heck, call it a Hanukkah Party - that would be awesome!

Happy Turkey Day

Today was my first "American Thanksgiving" - it sounds like it should come with a Christmas ornament for the tree. Fortunately, one of the young women that I work with invited me for dinner at her cousin's house along with her immediate family from Louisiana. It was, well, very "American". 90% of the conversation was on hunting as her 21 yr old brother is an avid hunter of all animals - squirrels, pigs, deer - you name it, he's shot it (and ate it). Before class, he apparently, wanders around the bush looking for animals to kill and then drives back and wears his fatigues to class. In addition to receiving a new education on hunting, we watched 2 football games! It was funny how hard they tried not to talk about politics and their love for Republicans and disapproval of illegal immigration but a few times it slipped. All in all, it was very sweet of them for having me over and for sharing their food! It's just funny how families are... I can only imagine what an outsider would say about mine!!!

Last week, I received quite a shock at work as my boss was fired. Next to the owner (who hardly makes an appearance) she was "it". Now there's basically 3 of us directors running the show until they find someone new. For anyone who has been following my work situation outside of this blog, this is clearly a positive change for my work with the parents and kids. However, I am continually blown away with how fragile jobs are here. I've watched at least a dozen people be fired already. I really do feel like I always need to be on edge... although, I've heard (and I know) my work is very solid.. it's just that being fired for me is an entirely different world than for most people, since it means immediate deportation back to Canada.

Paul and I (finally!!!) drove up to Berkeley last weekend! (GPS, I CAN NEVER LIVE WITHOUT YOU!) We met up with one of Paul's friends from Calgary, a mathematician working on his PhD at 18 yrs old! I cannot even try to compare Berkeley to Stanford, there is no comparison in my mind.. Stanford is amazing! We later ran into some friends of ours from Stanford and went out for a night in SF to sing karoke and visit some lesbian bars (get the full SF experience). The city is just incredible, something for everyone!

Pictures (I have many more but I didn't know people's "threshold" for viewing)
1. Psychology Building at Berkeley
2. Sather Tower
3/4/5. View from Sather Tower
6. Paul & Alex Fink
7. Me & Alex Fink

I'm blogging this...

If anybody still reads this, you should check out: http://preview.local.live.com/ - and choose San Francisco from the menu.. Sadly, I drove all the way to Lombard street and saw it blanked out. It is from Microsoft so there seem to be many bugs still.. but hopefully it has potential.

I wish I could communiate how amazing this area is into blog format. On Saturday, a coworker and I grabbed a chai from a local coffee shop (oh, you have to be anti-Starbucks here .. actually you really need to find a lot of things to be anti about here of course, anti- W. Bush is a given). All of a sudden I turned around and these 2 guys are chatting up about YouTube and Google and TiVo philosophy. Maybe it's more like a religion here.. a religion with really cool tshirts (seriously, I have a collection of tech shirts now (scroll down and see me sleeping in the Google shirt)). Anyway, I thought they were some "famous" people from a tech company but now I don't really think they were. I guess this story is pretty lame but seriously they could have been! That's how cool this area is. While everyone else sips their Chai and goes on pretending like they've never heard of them.

I'm not sure I've communicated my passion for produce in this blog yet. But since I've been down here, I've been religiously going to Farmer's Markets all around the area (every little city has one, rather every 20 blocks you can find a new one). The past few weeks I've been slipping; I've started getting frustrated paying $3.00 for a lb for green beans or $3.50 for a lb of peaches, etc. I Yelped! (another great website and another web success that I know the people who started it) and found The Milk Pail.. a crazy, random, extremely small, overcrowded produce store that sells extremely cheap (with respect to California prices) produce and cheese... every kind of cheese imaginable. Yes folks, this is my passion - getting good quality produce at reasonable prices.. is that kind of pathetic?

Not much to report with teaching... not much to report with exploring the Bay (next weekend, I'm hopefully going to see Berkeley) ... not much to report with the weather (other than the fact that I'm still comfortably wearing skirts and sandles)...

Enjoy your week!

Happy November

Halloween was a huge deal here, at least bigger than I expected. I ended up going to 2 Halloween parties.. the first being at a mausoleum (grave site) of the Stanford family.. it was wild!! I heard a few thousand Stanford students showed up. A lot of amazing creative costumes!! One group went as dominos, with Asian countries painted on the back of their outfits.. At first I didn't get it but they explained to me that they were "The Domino Effect". Another guy went as a christmas tree, wrapped in garland and lights. The only problem was, he had to stand next to an electrical outlet all night. I also saw snakes on a plane - a guy with a zillion rubber snakes plastered to a board with x, y coordinates on it (get it, plane). There was also the imaginary man, he wore a shirt painted with the negative root of square one. His girlfriend went as infinity. There were tons of sexy, risky, pornstar costumes too.. tons of fun. I was going to go to Castro in SF (the craziest, wildest Halloween party of all) but in retrospect I'm glad I didn't since 10 people were shot and many more stabbed.

It's going to be a great next 5 days :) My boss is out of town!! Everyone at work is estatic.. seriously, I've never met someone who's work was SO much of their life. It's almost sad. But the tone at work is now sooooooooooo much more relaxed. People are ACTUALLY smiling! I could really write a GOOD book based on this work experience.. I have heard some very crazy things and seen some even crazier stuff. I had to go to a big meeting thing today with the boss of the company to plan next year with the other directors.. It was a little frustrating but I probably shouldn't get into it on the internet.

Yesterday it rained a bit, the first REAL rain in at least 6 months. It's strange watching when the sun goes away how depressed people quickly get (I guess the time change doesn't help either). But the drivers are the funniest to watch - it's like when it snowed back home. Everyone forgets how to drive again and there were a zillion accidents.

Just one picture of some friends on our way to the Mausoleum party:
Anders, Me, Ben, Marius, and Paul (I was a fairy, although you can't see my wings)

If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0

I think when you sign up for a teaching career, you also sign up for a permanent cold/flu. I have stocked up on L-Glutamine, AirBorne, Vit-C, all the gems but nothing seems to help. After a few days of recovery, the next one hits. I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired... In the world of work news (not to be confused with WoW), I've started parent conferencing and managing 50 or so students.

This was a much quieter and less geeky weekend than normal. Working Saturday, swimming in the outdoor pool at Stanford, the usual. A group of friends, hit a few frat parties on campus last night - the best one being a 'sailor party'. The frat house party atmosphere is definitely something we don't have back in Calgary.. it's exactly like the movies - drunk, underaged teenagers running around everywhere and dancing to all the songs that people create their own videos for on YouTube. I seriously felt SO old! Apparently it's a crime to say that you're a graduate student. Some nights of the week, you can even score free food at the frat houses... Friday night I ate soup consisting of canned beans, canned tomatoes, and canned chunks of sweet potato (no spices, etc.) Now, it actually sounds so much more appetizing than it was but I definitely thought of Rob (my brother) since it was the type of dinner he'd likely create. But free is free, so I really can't complain.

Next weekend being "Halloween weekend", I'll likely have more exciting news to report...

PICS
1) me in SF (months ago now)
2) me passed out in front of my computer
3) the pumpkins that Paul and I carved this year (get it, pumpkin pi)
4) hitting 100,000 kms!!!!!!!!!!!! Not to worry, I didn't take the picture driving down the freeway.